Post by d on Aug 16, 2010 14:05:04 GMT -5
Subterfuge was born out of frustration—sexual, creative, professional. Raised in the 1990s, we inherited a very different world from the variations other generations knew. We began only a few steps behind the boys, instead of miles behind, like our mothers, or the sidelines, like our grandmothers. We grew up with the assumption that anyone who said girls were worse than boys was just ignorant and stupid, not worthy listening to, they’d get theirs.
As we grew older, we realized that the idyllic almost-equality shown on Nickelodeon didn’t reflect reality. The stubborn, bigoted cartoon challengers of female prowess weren’t just comic figments of the imagination -- People out there really assumed girls were weak and incapable of holding their own. Parts of the country still laughed at women who tried to step outside their roles. In other countries, women were still beaten, jailed, and mutilated for things we took for granted every day. Before, we were offended by bias. Now, we are outraged.
D joined her university’s feminist organization. It was something she never thought she’d do; she wasn’t a ‘joiner.’ But she was ready to do something about everything she’d thought and heard over the years. It was invigorating to be surrounded by women who didn’t think feminism was a joke, who felt, as she did, that there was still a lot of work to be done. The school’s V-DAY initiative gave her the opportunity to take real action, performing in The Vagina Monologues and helping to fundraise and organize. D thrived among these intelligent, questioning women… and then keenly felt their absence when she graduated. Annexed from the university by her diploma, the thoughts rolled around and around her head. What could she do now?
F’s initial feminist experiences were negative. Her first exposure to feminism came from a mandatory course at her women’s college. There, she studied some of the works by great feminist thinkers -- Friedan, Steinem, Dworkin and Beauvoir. And while their words were often stirring, F became turned off by what she saw as elitism and misplaced rage in feminist scholarship. She felt that these academic essays were profoundly disconnected from the experiences of ordinary women. Only after working with female students in India years later did she understand the real-world applications for women’s rights.
But the world is designed to ignore feminists. Say ‘The F Word’ and you alienate people. Sometimes we felt that in order to be feminists we had to look for a group to join, and then wade through the lunatic fringe.
That didn’t work.
We are not the lunatic fringe. We are ordinary young women whose eyes are open. College made us bolder, and we began to share things with each other that we hadn’t before, about our experiences and about ourselves. The sharing brought us closer. More people should do this, we agreed. But who has the guts to unilaterally declare that no topic is off-limits? Who is willing to risk the grapevine passing on the intimate details of her life?
Initially, we launched Subterfuge as a place for F to anonymously air her dirty laundry. She then invited D to join her. Soon, the ideas were flying. We wanted to grant more women this freedom, more young women, who weren’t sure if their feminist leanings still had a place, or who were frustrated because the world doesn’t want to hear about it.
We were afraid, at first, to show anyone we knew what we were doing. We kept it secret, and relied on the support of strangers.
The strangers liked it. The strangers got it.
So we took a leap of faith, and we told our friends. We asked them to help us break the silence.
They got it. They leapt in with both feet.
Now we have a growing cadre of young women opening their hearts and their throats, testifying to the reality of the world occupy. It isn’t the dream of the early Womens Lib movement. It isn’t the oppressive hellhole some make it out to be. It is our world, a hybrid world, that we are learning to shape with our own hands.
Subterfuge is the space for us to test the boundaries as we find our voices. If I speak, what will happen? With support, and time, we will find the confidence to declare ourselves, despite the risks.
As we grew older, we realized that the idyllic almost-equality shown on Nickelodeon didn’t reflect reality. The stubborn, bigoted cartoon challengers of female prowess weren’t just comic figments of the imagination -- People out there really assumed girls were weak and incapable of holding their own. Parts of the country still laughed at women who tried to step outside their roles. In other countries, women were still beaten, jailed, and mutilated for things we took for granted every day. Before, we were offended by bias. Now, we are outraged.
D joined her university’s feminist organization. It was something she never thought she’d do; she wasn’t a ‘joiner.’ But she was ready to do something about everything she’d thought and heard over the years. It was invigorating to be surrounded by women who didn’t think feminism was a joke, who felt, as she did, that there was still a lot of work to be done. The school’s V-DAY initiative gave her the opportunity to take real action, performing in The Vagina Monologues and helping to fundraise and organize. D thrived among these intelligent, questioning women… and then keenly felt their absence when she graduated. Annexed from the university by her diploma, the thoughts rolled around and around her head. What could she do now?
F’s initial feminist experiences were negative. Her first exposure to feminism came from a mandatory course at her women’s college. There, she studied some of the works by great feminist thinkers -- Friedan, Steinem, Dworkin and Beauvoir. And while their words were often stirring, F became turned off by what she saw as elitism and misplaced rage in feminist scholarship. She felt that these academic essays were profoundly disconnected from the experiences of ordinary women. Only after working with female students in India years later did she understand the real-world applications for women’s rights.
But the world is designed to ignore feminists. Say ‘The F Word’ and you alienate people. Sometimes we felt that in order to be feminists we had to look for a group to join, and then wade through the lunatic fringe.
That didn’t work.
We are not the lunatic fringe. We are ordinary young women whose eyes are open. College made us bolder, and we began to share things with each other that we hadn’t before, about our experiences and about ourselves. The sharing brought us closer. More people should do this, we agreed. But who has the guts to unilaterally declare that no topic is off-limits? Who is willing to risk the grapevine passing on the intimate details of her life?
Initially, we launched Subterfuge as a place for F to anonymously air her dirty laundry. She then invited D to join her. Soon, the ideas were flying. We wanted to grant more women this freedom, more young women, who weren’t sure if their feminist leanings still had a place, or who were frustrated because the world doesn’t want to hear about it.
We were afraid, at first, to show anyone we knew what we were doing. We kept it secret, and relied on the support of strangers.
The strangers liked it. The strangers got it.
So we took a leap of faith, and we told our friends. We asked them to help us break the silence.
They got it. They leapt in with both feet.
Now we have a growing cadre of young women opening their hearts and their throats, testifying to the reality of the world occupy. It isn’t the dream of the early Womens Lib movement. It isn’t the oppressive hellhole some make it out to be. It is our world, a hybrid world, that we are learning to shape with our own hands.
Subterfuge is the space for us to test the boundaries as we find our voices. If I speak, what will happen? With support, and time, we will find the confidence to declare ourselves, despite the risks.